I will try to keep the deal i've made for myself.
It's hard, but i guess letting go it's the best for us.
Anyway, thanks for everything. =)
22:10
I'm tiredd! So damn tiredd! =/ Some lessons was quite fun after being closer with Wati and Eliza. So many funny things were happening in class. lOlx. Didn't went for training today, had to chiong my chemistry SPA project because today is the LAST DAY! Oh man. I should never do things so last minute! LOL. But luckily, i managed to finish before 11.30pm! Wahahah! OH! We finally watched 17 Again! =DD It's a nice movie! Some parts are so damn funny! AND! I saw Benjamin, Jeremy and company in AMK hub. End up, we watched the same show too! But different rows only. Hahahah! Quite fatedd ehhs? Hmmm. I feel so relaxed after i finished my chemistry SPA, but i don't think i will score well because i don't really know how am i supposed to do it. Yarh, so anyhow loh! =X I want more time to go out with friends! Please give me more time! =D
Bye all~ Love the B-Family! x33
23:17
I seriously don't know what's going on in my life. It's all falling apart again & who's gonna be there for me? No one i guess. People have their own problems to handle, why will they bother about mine anyway. I feel so out of place everywhere. It feels like i'm squeezing myself into somewhere which i shouldn't be in there.
I wana cry so much..
23:56
Mixed feelings in me.
That's all i can say.
I wish i can really don't know about anything.
i guess i'm just a burden to everyone.
i wana leave the world..
00:18
The quarels will never end i guess. No matter how many times we've tried, we'll end up the same. I'm really tiredd of trying and getting back the same results all the time. It's not that i don't remember those happy times we hadd together, it just hurts too much. As usual, no one understands. I don't know what more i can say.
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Fuck. What's wrong man. Why can't some things just go the way i want it to be? Why can't i get the things i want while others can get as much as they want? Why can't people just get things into their fucking head? I just want a simple and happy life. Is it so difficult for such a simple wish? I'm not even asking for a dog or what. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST UNDERSTAND?! Hais.
22:02
I'm tiredd, i wana give up..
13:46
I guess i will cut short everything for today's post. Don't know what to post about actually. So many things happened, yet so little things i can say with words. Every day is just study, study and even more study. Time seems to pass so fast for this year. Every day seems like a minute, every week seems like an hour, every month is just like a day. Weekends is just merely a 2hours break for me. I've so little time to spent on other stuffs not related to school. Life is so boring. I guess the only time when i can get studies out of my mind is during volleyball training & when going out to do things i like with friends and family. It's been such a long time since i had a dinner outside with my family. I really missed it. How i wish i could go back to my secondary school life, always hanging out with friends, playing in class during lessons, staying back in school and chit-chat in the canteen, playing satay-football like money is endless & going out for dinner with family during weekends. I guess when you're young, life is always the best. & i do agree, my childhood is wonderful. =)
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Post again another time bah. Going out soon~ =)
14:25
I guess i'm not a good friend afterall. I can't help or comfort them when they're feeling down. I can't even cheer them upp too. I guess i suck. Hais.
Do take care people. =)
19:06
I guess i'm not ready for any relationship now bah. Every small things can cause great changes in how i feel. I don't think you understand. In the past, you seems to know what i'm thinking, how i'm feeling. But now, i guess not. Others can seems to understand me better even when i didn't even mention anything. Little things they do can make me feel better. But to you, it seems so difficult. Sometimes it just feels that our thinkings are so different.When i needed you, i can't seems to reach you while others will be there for me. I always thought that you'll be there when i needed you, like what you said. Then i realised, others are there even when you're not. I need time to get over things which hurts me. If things keep hurting me continuously, i think i will start avoiding everything again. Shutting myself in my own world seems to be the best. I guess i will think about it..
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When there's a wound, it takes time to heal.
After healing, there'll still be a scar.
No matter what, the scar will always be there.
It can only either be forgotten or otherwise.
16:36
Regrets is all i have now.
10:53
I will continue to hold on to the people & things i treasure..
& i will let go of those which don't belongs to me.
Slowing down your pace will allow you to see more things around you..
Then you won't missed the things that you're always looking for. =)
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I'll think about what i really want..
13:28
I guess i'll have to think real hard this time.
It's hurts badly each time we quarel.
I know it takes 2 hands to clap, so we either make things better or worse.
Some things turned out not to be what we've expected.
There's so much things on my mind, but i can't find words to describe it.
Regrets and everything, i don't know what to do about it.
Just hope i could get one more chance for some things which i've missed.
I just want to be happy. That's all. =/
21:03
Went out at around 9pm plus going 10pm to find Benjamin at Raffles last night. =) As i promised that i will visit him at his work place someday & since yesterday was quite free, so i went to find him to fulfill my promise! LOL! Reached Raffles at around 10.30pm i think. Hmm. I was standing outside waiting for that guy to come out. lOlx. =X Then i think i saw Hafiz going home from the food junction! Hahahah! So funny. Long time no see him! But because i was looking over from the other side of the mall, so i don't think he will see me. =X Stoned outside the Coffee Club until don't what time. Hahah! I think should be 11pm plus bah! Finally, Benjamin's manager let him go. So long luh! Still ask me go scold his manager. LOL! Then he went to change & i stoned outside again. lOlx. I'm having fun looking at what people are doing in the mall. There's these 3 girls walking around the mall, & the weirdest thing is that they're holding hands! I was like "what the hell are they holding hands walking in a mall when almost all the shops are closed?" lOlx. They disppeared after their first round of "shopping". =X Maybe they're also wondering why am i standing there doing nothing when it's already so late. LOL. Then we trained back to AMK for his dinner! Still want bet with me 100bucks huh! We went to S11, while he was eating, i was watching tv! =DD Wahahah! & i'm getting damn sleepy & tiredd by that time. Lalala!~ Benjamin accompanied me & we bus-ed home! =) Hahaha! Thanks lots! ^^ Really hadd a damn fun day yesterday! Lalala!!~ Reached home & i played PSP with Hongying till quite late! lOlx. So tiredd loh. Then went to bed after we've completed the whole game! Wahahah! =DD
That's all for now! I'm going out soon!~ Will be going to Junxian's BBQ to celebrate his birthday! Then might catch a movie with Huiting after that! =DD
SAYO!~
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JUNXIAN!! ^^
18:13
02/04/09
I was fucking pissed with my laptop. It kept auto restart & hang there while i was transferring some files between my laptop & phone. Ended up, jie's K800i was screwed. I don't know what happened, it just spoilt. What the fuck man. Then i changed back to my W760i. At first, it was still working fine so i continued to transfer my files. After awhile, the buttons aren't working again. Damn fucked up. & i think my laptop tio virus that's why it always auto restart like every 5minutes. -.- Finally after i transferred all my files, kor wanted to use. I mean it's not that i'm angry with him or what. It's just that i'm not in a very good mood yesterday & the laptop pissed me off. Maybe it's because i'm not in a good mood, my tone sound kinda attitude. My badd. And few minutes later, i just break down. =/ I triedd to control my tears, but it just kept coming out. I felt damn stressed at that moment, i don't know why. Then i went into jie's room because i wanted to be alone to clam myself down. But i felt even more depressed after that, i can't help it. I felt like taking the penknife and slash my arm. Hongying, xinn & jie was trying to comfort me, but it made me feel worse for quite awhile, because i didn't want them to see me in this way. I'm just angry with myself & not anyone else. =/ Then jie & kor started quarelling because of the misunderstanding i've caused. I couldn't stand it because it's my fault, & i locked myself in the bathroom. I don't want to hear anything at all, i don't want to see anyone. After all those crying, both my eyes were swollen, can't stand it. & i'm freaking tiredd. Kor helped me reformat my laptop & i guess it's okay now. Took a bath & went to bedd at mum's room at around 1am plus going 2am. =/
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03/04/09
Woke up at around 5.50am & went to prepare everything. Met Huiting at bus stop & we trained to Yishun for awhile. Went back to Huiting's house while waiting for Kejun. Then we proceed to Yio Chu Kang Stadium for the Mayflower Sports Day. At first, we couldn't get in. Don't know what's wrong with the teachers' mind luh. But we managed to get in at around 9am plus. The whole thing is quite boring, everyone seems so lifeless and sian-ed. Huiting, Kejun & i left the stadium ar 10am plus & headed to AMK central for out breakfast! Then went to the polyclinic to consult doctor.* Yarh. Trained to Somerset to watch L.O.V.E, the show with good-looking actors & actress! But the show isn't as good as what i've expected it. I almost fell asleep luh. Some parts are quite boring, while some are damn funny. We should have watched Hotel For Dogs! Nevermind, we watch it one Good Friday! =) Spent quite a lot today. Bought something, went arcade & blah blah blah. I can't remember. Headed home after that. =) Enjoyed today with my B1 & B2! It's a pity that B4 didn't come. Hope we can go out more often & spend more time together! x33 Sorry & thanks hubby for helping me to settle the things in school today because i didn't attend. Yup. Hope i will be able to catch up next week. I think i really need a break once in awhile. If not i think i will get depression! =(
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I called, but u're asleep. I thought i could get some comfort from you. I was a little disappointed, but it's okay because you still have to attend school the next day. So it doesn't matter bah, i guess.
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That's all people! I'm going out later. Will post again if can. =)
20:15
LOL sia! I found out something today! =X Oh man! I find it so cool & funny luh! Hahahah! Lalala! I'm not going to say what i found out here! Bleah! I've just entertained myself! LOL! =dd Okay lah. Don't so badd liao. No matter what, it had already happened. So like that loh. =) If we can still be friends, we will. If we can't, then don't bother luh!~ =X
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Hadd volleyball training just now. Today's training was damn boredd but quite tiring. Bleah. Then Huiting & i went to Junction8 to buy some stuffs & hadd our Long John Silver! =D After that we trained back to AMK loh. Same old routine. lOlx. Yarh. & something weirdd happened.
When Huiting & i are at hub, i noticed this guy keep looking at our direction, then when our bus came, they boarded the same bus as us. At first, i thought is nothing much. Then when i was about to alight, i heard their conversations. I was wondering if i heard the wrong things. LOL. The friend was like asking the guy if he wanted to alight, then say what it's the last chance or something like that luh. I didn't care much so i continued walking loh. Then i realised that guy alighted the bus & was walking behind me, but i even bother about him. LOL. So i called hubby for fun. Hahahah! =X After some time, that guy suddenly talked to me sia. He was like "Can i have your number?" & i replied "nope. sorry." SEE! I even said sorry to him! & i don't even know why i said that! LOL. Yarh, weirdd right? lOlx.
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Okay luh! That's all for today. I'm freaking tiredd now. Feel like sleeping! BUT! I'm damn excited about FRIDAY!!!! =DDDD WAHAHAHH! Lalala!~ One day more! YEAH YEAH! ^^
Cya!~
22:35
HAPPY BIRTHDAY QINGLIN! ^^
lOlx. okays, i'm lame! Bleahs~ =D
00:32
