soonkee's the best! ❤

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Maybe i should get hooked on to some online games again bah.

It's the only way to get myself away from the reality i guess.

I'm rather confused, but i don't know because of what. =/

I just want a simple life. Is it that difficult?

My life is screwed since 3years ago. I wonder when will i walk out of it.

I do feel your presence around me at home sometimes.

Appear more in my dreams will you? I miss you daddy. =)

Hadd a hard time sleeping last night. Many things just don't leave my mind.

Your answers do hurt me last night. But it's okays. =)

I wana go out! i wana work! i wana pool! =DD

I had enough of rotting at home! Lalala!

That's all for today!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Huiting! Haha! You should know what i write right?

But i didn't type out! Lalala! =DD

Loves & misses all my friends! x33

& you too! =X

with love, hann ❤22:18

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Happy birthday Jocelyn! ^^

All the best! Take care! & stay happy! =))

My chalet is booked few days ago! Yeah! =D

Huiting's BBQ will be coming first then after 39 days, it will be my chalet!

Wahaha! Damn excited for these 2 celebrations! ^^

Lalala! Hmm. Still doesn't know where will i be working.

Hope that i will be able to start work soon, rather than rotting at home!

So boredd at home! I wana get out & watch movies! =X

Have to tidy my room by tomorrow as i've promised my mum.

lOlx. I want to go out with my friends! )=

Didn't pool much recently. Every day seems so long & time seems to pass so slowly.

1 month plus more before getting results.

I wonder what will i do after i got my results. =/

Will i be happy with it or disappointed with it?

Maybe i'll be back into depression. Haha!

Huiting ah! Do take care ehhs! You do make me worry for you most of the time.

Things will be better! If anything's bothering you, i'll be there for you! =)

The 4 of us will be with you! To eat, movie or KBox!

Love you guys! =D Haha!

with love, hann ❤21:55

Month of February

Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever.

Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble.

Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted.

Loves aggressiveness.Too sensitive and easily hurt.

Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things.

Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn.Ambitious.

Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure.

Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift.

Tries to learn to show emotions.

I enjoyed the times with you.

Forgive me if i upset you.

Waiting for the day!~ =)

with love, hann ❤18:42

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Huiting! Please take care!

You still have me! I'll be there for you! ^^

lOlx. Dream of them also must dream of me mah! =X

Do takecare! Anything can find me 24/7!

Unless i'm sleeping like a dead pigg! =X Haha!

Do takecare! =))

Nothing much happened. Quite boredd.

Damn sleepy! Loves all my friends! =X

Haha! I'm random! Lalala!

" I'm busy, You're ugly, Have a nice day! "

LOL! Saw this sentence yesterday. =d

Randomness!~ I'm happy!

Huiting take care! Everyone take care also!

Loves you guys! ^^

Yeah! Hours more to see you!

=))

with love, hann ❤19:16

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Yeah! I think i found a job at PepperLunch!

Will be starting work on next monday! ^^ Wahaha!

Most probably will be damn busy once i start working.

Then i won't have much time to blog i guess.

Haha! But it's okay! Got interesting things then blog bah! =)

Went to Funan today& finally saw the Kimfu that Huiting & Ruofan are always talking about!

He's quite a good guy! =) Haha!

Nothing much happened today, but i'm still kinda tiredd after one whole day.

Lalala! I'm happy i've got a job!

Yeah! ^^

Waiting for the day to see you again!

Lalala! ^^

with love, hann ❤23:15

Went over to Huiting's house to send her sister off to the airport yesterday.

It's been such a long time since the Taiwan trip!

I feel like going overseas! With friends or family also can!

Huiting & i was talking about the Taiwan trip all over again. Haha!

Really miss the times in Taiwan last year! =/

Went to Vivocity to look for jobs after Huiting's sister went in.

It seems that most of the vacancies are already filled upp.

I kept on telling Huiting that if there's no good-looking guys, we don't work there! =X

LOL! But i'm just kidding of course! =D

Found more gloomy stuffs at the airport! So cool!

Huiting & i were thinking if we should buy carebears! =X lOlx.

Going to meet huiting few hours later to go for interview.

Most probably we'll be working at PepperLunch bah.

It's Huiting's Lao Ben Hang anyway. Haha! =X

At long as i've got a job, i won't rot at home! Haha!

Gonna work & earn money to pay my mum back the money for chalet! =D

Lalala! That's all for today!

Waiting for the special day to come.

Lalala! ^^

with love, hann ❤13:22

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I got the answers i wanted.

Problems & doubts have finally resolved.

I apologise as partly is still my fault.

I just hope things would be better now & we could be the same as last time.

Ignore the previous posts bah.

Everything is okay between us now. =)

Conflicts & problems are history now.

I'm glad that we've talk things out & clear those misunderstandings. =)

I've made my choice.

I will stick to it.

I won't hurt anyone of you now.

I'm happy with what i have now.

Do cherish me please, & i will cherish you too. =)

with love, hann ❤12:11

Sunday, November 23, 2008

I shall post some pictures now! LOL!

Will post more pictures another day! ^^

My new bearbear! Love it! x3

My Tigger! Love it too! x3

My Gloomy! Loves! x3

This is what i call Center Gravity, C.G! ^^

Guess where did i draw this? =X

My table in class! Ops! All my masterpieces =X

During the last day of school!

Zhigang & Me! ^^ My Gan ErZi! x3

Guangliang & Me! LOL! ^^ Look at his face! =X

Ahboii & Me! ^^ I'm short! Because he bent down! =/

Ruofan & Me! ^^ I looks tiredd. =/

Kejun, Ruofan, Mr Kim, Me & Huiting! I love this picture! =D

Shimin, Dongfang, Me & Ruofan! Bestfriends in 3I'07/4I'08! ^^

Behind(left to right): Kejun, Shimin, Ruofan, Me & Huiting!

Front(left to right): Dongfang & Junxian!

Behind(left to right): Ruofan, Shimin & Huiting!

Front(left to right): Dongfang, Kejun & Me!

Yize & Me! Big brother of mine! ^^

Prom Night! ^^

Inside of the ballroom! Looks crappy? =X

GimmeGang + LLG! Loves this picture! x3

Pity that Shimin,Dongfang & Yize was not here. =/

Lai yee, Me & Huiting! ^^ Happy! Happy!

Me & Jocelyn! I'm wearing her hat! LOL! ^^

Me & Jocelyn! Second picture! =)

Me & Jocelyn! Third picture! LOL! ^^

Dongfang & Me! ^^ She's good at taking pictures!

Ruofan & Me! We same height! lOlx. It's obvious she bent down! =)

Janice & Me! ^^ Bestfriends for 4 years!

Yixuan & Me! ^^ We got dimples! But you can't see mine!

Benedict & Me! ^^ Smile! =)

Me & Ahboii! ^^ Nice Background! In front of piano!

Melissa & Me! ^^ Another Pretty lady!

The Prom Queen,Evon & Me! ^^

Yuxi & Me! He bent down too! LOL! =X

Guangliang & Me! ^^ A good guy who always bully me! =X

Aaron & Me! ^^ The smart one! =)

Weitong & Me! ^^ We dyed/highlighted the same colour i think. =)

Junchai & Me! ^^ He's a mixture of GimmeGang & LLG!

Yihui & Me! ^^ New friend! =X

Guoming & Me! ^^ Another tall one!

Junxian & Me! ^^ He's about to cough! =X

Katrina & Me! ^^ Another new friend! =)

Class 3Integrity'07/4Integrity'08! x3

Lalala! I don't have a picture with Kejun! =/ That's all for today! ^^

with love, hann ❤18:17

Many things happened, but no one seems to understand.

I had to made decisions which i don't wish to.

Too many things to think about, too little spaces in brain.

How i wish i could lose my memory & forget everything that has happened.

I want go out! I'm boredd of stoning at home!

I want to go KBox & sing till throat pain!

I want to go KPool & play till broke! =/

Hai. I'm depressed again.

Huiting! I need a Badge! =X

Give me one! =D

with love, hann ❤12:37

Thursday, November 20, 2008

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHIFU! ^^

All the best & takecare! Stay happy! =)

Went for a job interview with jie & xinn today at Eunos.
Everything was still okay until we reached the Eunos MRT station.
I began to feel giddy & feel like vomitting. =/
So i went to the side to take a sit for a rest.
After awhile i thought that i was feeling better so we continue walking.
Then it became worst. =/
When i started walking, i began to feel giddy again.
My whole vision was blurred & i feel like fainting.
I had another rest at the staircase because i was feeling weak.
Jie was holding on to me while we walk to the place.
After the second rest we continued, then my whole vision was YELLOW!
I got stunned & was feeling damn weak.
I had no more strength to walk & jie had to hold on to me.
Everything i see was yellow, the road, the sky, even hands & clothes.
Hadd another rest outside the place then proceeded in.
Jie & xinn went into a room for a orientation talk & i stayed outside to rest.
After an hour plus, i was feeling better. =)
I guess maybe i'm dying bah. Haha.
I was feeling damn sleepy when the whole thing started.
Maybe i will just leave the world when i fall asleep.
Then people will start leaving me alone & not bothering me.
I will be able to accompany my daddy then. =)

I guess i'll have to cry myself to sleep again tonight.
-
I guess i'm dying soon.
Daddy, wait for me! =)

with love, hann ❤23:52

Fuckers!

For all you people know, i'm not a two-timer!

Please get your facts right before opening your fat ass mouth!

You people don't even know what's going on!

I really regret treating you fuckers as friends!

You people like reading my blog right?

Read this then! I guess you people should know who i'm referring to.

Since you have the guts to go around telling people,

Why not tell me in the face?!

Can't you people just fucked off?!

What's so good being like this?

I choose to believe & treat you people as friends.

I always thought that you people are great friends, great company.

Guess i'm wrong then.

The 2years of friendship is over.

I really wanted to post all your names out here.

I hate all of you. Please get out of my life.

with love, hann ❤12:01

I'm so sorry guys!

I still can't text & call out. =/

Not that i want ignore you guys or what. Paisehh!

I waited, but all i get is this.

I just wanted some company.

I guess that's too much for me to ask for.

x/3

with love, hann ❤11:34

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

因為擁有過而害怕再失去

也因為想擁有而害怕會失去

Which path should i choose?

Will i ever be happy again?

I just want to be loved. =/

You abandoned me for heaven.

Why can't you just bring me along?

At least you won't be alone there.

I'm confused. I'm tiredd.

I want a long sleep with you in my dream.

Daddy, i really miss you.

with love, hann ❤21:22

Wtf lah! Line tio cut again. =/

Sian. i'm stuck at home & i can't even text people!

I wana go out! )=

Huiting & jie got chalet, xinn got prom night, i got nothing.

LOL! So boredd. Bleah! =P

Lalala! I go watch television liao!

Post again later if got something interesting!

Ohya! Yesterday huiting & i bought something damn cute! Haha!

She bought a pooh keychain & i bought a tigger one! Wahaha!

So cute! Lalala! & we are not lesbians! =D

I want work & earn money!

Chalet! Chalet! Chalet! ^^

with love, hann ❤11:47

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Do i have the courage to face it all over again?

Are things really going to be better?

I know i did hurt you in some ways, i'm sorry.

I thought that maybe you'll be happier without me.

Just realised i still had feelings for you, but will this be enough?

I guess i've let myself sink too deep. =/

Will you be better off without me?

I really did love you.

You're like the guy i wished for, but i'm not sure if things will work out.

I'm so sorry i made you cry.

It hurts me too. =/

Thanks for the 1year & 5months. x3

I'm glad to have you by my side recently.

You did make me feel loved, but do i deserve it?

I'm afraid i'll make the wrong decision.

Will we work out? I'm afraid of losing you.

I don't wish to hurt you.

I guess both of us needs time to think about it.

So sorry. & thanks for everything. x3

I hate myself.

I hate my life.

I hate you for abandoning me.

x/3

with love, hann ❤21:31

Yeah! I love the Prom Night!

Though the place is like shit, but it's fun to have friends with you!

Was damn nervous when reaching there. =/

The whole Prom Night is quite crapp.

I'm like so damn full because the food was served at a damn fast speed,

& i have to eat & eat & eat.

Don't really like the food though. =X

Haha. Keep taking pictures with all my friends! Wahaha!

Our table has shimin,aaron,guangliang,junchai,yungchung,huiting,ruofan,dongfang,siying & me!

We were like talking & joking around. =)

Oh yah! I was telling huiting how come there's no wine for us to drink!

LOL! Maybe she's right that i'm a jiu gui! =X

Lalala! wine is good for health! But not too much lah of course! Haha!

Hmm. It's a pity that ah hem never come! LOL!

It's a good chance to see! Haha. Okays, i'm kinda badd so i shall stop it.

Everyone was damn high during the Prom Night. =D

Really enjoyed myself. ^^

Loves & misses all my friends! <3

Went back to school with huiting today.

Yeah! & i managed to get into school with my highlighted hair & nail polish. LOL!

The guards don't even care lah. -.-

Was walking around the school for fun.

I miss the times in class & loitering all around the school. =/

I guess i really do look like a paikia when i tied my hair. Haha! =X

Went into the library to chit-chat with Mr George Lee.

We were talking about how lousy is our Prom Night. LOL!

Haha! Saw ben & ahboii in library. =P

When to liang ee's house after that to get some cookies.

Then we were too lazy to move & started watch Harry Potter there! lOlx.

Decided to leave liang ee's house at around 3plus 4 i think.

Went to Junction8 for awhile & headed home.

Huiting came to my house awhile to watch Shen Mu Yu Tong. Haha.

The show was damn funny. Hahaha. We were like keep laughing. =D

That's all for today. ^^

Which is the right one for me?

Which path should i choose?

Will i be able to make the right decision?

How i wish i could be greedy. =/

I hate myself for being like this.

with love, hann ❤18:54

Monday, November 17, 2008

Managed to tidy upp my house after going 1hour.

Haha. If not huiting, kejun & ruofan will see my messy house! LOL! =X

Tonight is the Prom Night! ^^

Damn excited! Can't wait to see all my friends & enjoy the Prom Night together!

Huiting, kejun & ruofan are coming my house at around 4pm.

Lalala! Hope everything goes fine for all of us!

Do remember to bring all your things over! =D

I wonder will our Prom Night be like those in the movies. =/

Haha. Must take pictures with all my friends! ^^

5hours plus more to Prom Night! lOlx.

Wahaha! Friends! Do enjoy this special night together! =)

I'm glad i'm able to see you again.

But was it all just myself who wanted it?

I'm just sadd.

I guess i have to make things clear before letting myself sink deeper.

Maybe, i'm just the only one who's suffering.

Lalala!

*The special sentence is hidden!* =D

with love, hann ❤13:24

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Fuckers, since you people hated me so much, why bother reading my blog?

There's no need for you people to know what's going on in my life & gossip to one another.

You people are so fucked upp you know?

Why must all of you keep disturbing my life?

Did i even provoke you? Did i ever stepped on you toes?

I really had enough of it. Please just get out of my life.

with love, hann ❤20:57

Was too tired to blog yesterday. =X

Ohh. I just realised i post the highlighting part & buffet part le.

Haha. So i shall post about yesterday ba. =)

Woke up at 515am. Meet huiting at 6plus & journey there through bus.

Reached Bugis at 7plus.

We were walking around Bugis finding the queue.

After don't know how many hours, we still can't find the stupid queue.

Was stoning there for hours, then we decided to catch a movie to kill some time.

We watch Madagascar2 at 1.20pm.

The movie was nice & funny. But i don't like the cinema! LOL!

Movie ended at around 2plus going 3pm.

After movie we went back to our stoning sessions. Haha.

Everything started at 7plus after waiting for 12hours. =/

Huiting went for the queue & everything. & i was waiting at the seat.

Was damn tiredd but iz okays. Haha.

Went home after the whole thing & huiting got her Shen Mu Yu Tong's signature! =D

Reached home at around 10plus.

Watched television till 12plus.

Bathed, crapped with jie & went to bed! =D

Just woke up few minutes ago! Haha.

Going out later with jie to buy some more things for prom!

2days more to prom night! =)

Lalala! ~

with love, hann ❤13:48

Friday, November 14, 2008

Look at the time now! lOlx.

Woke up at 515am because huiting & i are going to Shen Mu Yu Tong's Qian Chang Hui!

Hahaha. Yupp. People will say that we're crazy again! =)

Damn tiredd because yesterday slept at 12plus.

Highlighted my hair yesterday & i think i look like a paikia! =X

Gonna post more about yesterday later when i get back home.

Have to stone for 12hours before seeing Shen Mu Yu Tong. =/

I shall have my nap on the bus! Wahaha!

Lalala! ^^

with love, hann ❤06:31

Thursday, November 13, 2008

YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! O'LEVELS FINALLY OVER!

LOL! Now just have to wait for my crap results to come out. =X

Going to saloon later with huiting to cut & highlight/dye our hair! ^^

Happy carebear! Ops. Haha. I'm not carebear! =d

Meeting kejun, the piggy after that for BUFFET! lOlx.

A good meal after o'levels ehhs? Haha. We do know how to enjoy life! =X

Lalala! Should i dye dark purple or should i highlight other colours?

Or maybe i should keep it black? Hmm. Think. Think. Think. =/

Biology paper was quite screwed.

Finished the paper quite early & started drawing my question paper. LOL.

Was daydreaming & waiting for the time to pass. Lalala!

Everything's over so i shall not think about it & enjoy my holidays! =D

It feels nice to walk in the rain. =)

Hmm. Jie dyed her hair yesterday night! I also want! )=

Want make me jealous right? Haha! =X

Damn sleepy now. =/

Yesterday night was kinda boredd.

Stoned at the bus stop alone for 40minutes to wait for my mum.

Was watching cars, human beings walking, lightning, raindrops. lOlx.

Didn't have much things to do when sitting at bus stop alone ehhs. Haha.

Scratch my knee when getting on the car because there is a bus behind.

Yupp. & the skin came off! Haha. Saded. =/

I shall leave everything to fate. =)

If we're meant to be together, we will.

If we're not, then lets not force ourselves.

Daddy, i still love you the most! <3

with love, hann ❤10:10

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Mission accomplished! ^^

I'm gonna highlight my hair on thursday! Straight after my biology paper!

LOL! Thanks to my jie's effort for persuading my mum!

Wahaha! Yeah! Yeah! =D

Went to school for papers at 8am.

Reach home at around few hours later, didn't notice the time. =X

Watch some videos of Jam on youtube.

Wahaha! My Jam! =X So cute! ^^

Took a nap in the living room with my jie each having a sofa!

LOL! Woke up at around 4plus 5pm because going play pool! =D

Went to meet xinn at hub after that.

Walk walk abit around hub then went to KPool.

Hmm. Today was funny. =X

When i was waiting for my turn & sitting down on the chair texting,

A guy walk towards me & said that his friend wanted my number.

I was like stun? & sent signals to my jie for help! LOL! =X

Haha. Then jie helped me to tell them as i didn't know what to do. =/

I was thinking ' Hahaha, what am i suppose to do?' LOL!

Continue pooling for few hours.

End upp the cost was about 22bucks. Hahaha! =X

Went back to hub's basement to buy prata sausage for my dinner!

Headed home after that. =)

Should i control my feelings or just follow my heart?

Which is the right decision?

Should i get myself out of it or just allow myself to fall deeper into it?

Are we even suppose to be together?

Maybe i shouldn't even tell you about my feelings.

But it's already too late to regret.

I'll just leave it to fate.

It will show if the god loves me or hates me. =)

with love, hann ❤23:10

O'levels are finally coming to an end!

One more paper to go!

Most people are ready to enjoy their holidays from today onwards.

& i still have to buried my head in biology! LOL!

6 days more to prom night! =D

Still got so many things to buy! Money fly away~ =X

LOL! i'm random. =/

Still need wait few days more to be able to book my chalet!

Wahaha! I hope some idiots won't come spoil my mood.

If you know you are one of the idiots, then please don't come! Thank you! =)

LOL! Who cares! I don't give a damn about you people!

Haha. It seems like my post are getting shorter each time. lOlx.

So many things happened recently but little words can be used to describe.

Oya! Left one day to pursude my mum to let me highlight my hair!

LOL! I shall leave the task to my jie! Hahaha! =X

I want play pool! Kinda lost touch le! Gotta train back! LOL.

When holidays come, it won't be computer games anymore!

It will be pool-time! Haha! ^^

Friends! Do remember the happy times we had together during the 4 years!

Even though there are misunderstandings sometimes, but do cherish one another!

We have been through ups & downs, happy & sadd moments.

I'm really happy to have all of you being by my side these 4 years!

I really enjoyed the Taiwan trip last year! Except the ah hem! LOL! =)

You people should know what i'm talking about right? Haha!

I will never forget the happy moments in Taiwan!

For those friends who didn't went to the Taiwan trip,

Thanks for being my side in class & CCA. =)

Huiting,

Thanks for accompanying me everytime!

Really had fun when we are being crazy all the time! Haha.

The looking cars, the carebear stare, the munching after papers, the slacking in library & everything.

Haha. Remember ehhs? =P

Oya! & buying similar things which makes people thinks that we are lesbians! LOL!

Do remember our trip to Taiwan! Beside the ah hem parts! LOL. =)

Thanks for eveything! ^^

Kejun,

Thanks for making me hungry all the time!

Haha no lah. At least you will make me want to eat.

Do enjoy the happy times with you & the Taiwan trip.

& yupp. We will go eat buffet someday! ^^

Ruofan,

Thanks for being my friend for 4 years! LOL!

Even though there are some misunderstandings between us.

But i'm still glad to have you as my friend!

I really enjoyed the days in class when we are playing like crazy. ^^

Don't forget the happy times in Taiwan!

Dongfang,

Though we are only closer when in seconday 3 & 4,

Thanks for keeping mi entertain everyday!

Haha. The hand signs, notes & more of you & ruofan can really make me forget my troubles.

Thanks for everything! ^^

Yixuan,

Thanks for keeping me entertain during secondary1 praticals!

LOL! I don't think you remember. Haha!

Do try not to get lost in conversations & starts your who,what,where,when.

Haha. Just kidding. =)

Thanks anyway! ^^

Shimin,

Thanks for being my friend for 4 years too!

I'm glad to have you by my side when i'm down.

Really enjoyed the happy times during the 4 years!

Do eat more! LOL! You're too skinny!

Haha. Thanks for everything! ^^

Janice,

Even though we have only been in the same class for 1 year.

But thanks for being my friend for 4 years!

Really enjoyed the times in Taiwan!

Munching & sleeping in the bus during the journey!

Haha. & complaining about ah hem. LOL! =X

Xies! ^^

Qinglin,

Thanks for accompanying me everytime in library.

Though we have misunderstandings in the past,

I'm glad we didn't throw our friendship away.

Enjoyed the fun times during our CCA. Haha.

Thanks for everything! ^^

Yize,

Thanks for being my friend for 4 years! Haha.

You've been a great friend to me for the past few years!

Thanks for accompanying me when i'm being outcasted sometimes.

& sorry for the times when i'm being an asshole in class.

Haha. Really do enjoy the happy times with you in class!

& you're always patting my head! Haha.

You're like a big brother to me & always taking care of me when we're sitting together.

LOL! Xies lots! ^^

Ahboii,

Thanks for accompanying me all the time in class!

Do enjoyed the happy times with you around.

Though we won't know what will happen in the future,

I will still remember the times in class & in canteen when chionging for o'levels!

Thanks for cheering me upp all the time when i'm moody.

& sorry when i make you pissed sometimes. =/ Hee.

Thanks for everything! ^^

For some people, i don't even know if you're still treating me as your friends.

The things you do, really did hurt me.

I guess maybe this will be the end of our friendship bah.

Thanks for everything during the past few years anyway!

Loving someone is to give the person a chance to break your heart.

True or false?

with love, hann ❤11:07

Monday, November 10, 2008

Bought my prom dress few days ago.

Hope everyone will enjoy that special day together! =)

Our friendship will last long! ^^

Was wondering if i did the right things these few days.

I'm afraid of making the wrong decision.

I don't want to get hurt anymore.

Do i really deserve you?

I don't know. Who can let me know? =/

with love, hann ❤21:44

Friday, November 7, 2008

I think i did something wrong today. =/

But at least my mood is better now.

So am i wrong or right?

Made promises in order to change myself.

I will try my best to fulfill the promises.

But i guess i need a longer time to overcome certain things inside me.

Really missed the feeling.

It's been such a long time since the last time.

with love, hann ❤19:36

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Being alone now is the path that i've choosen for the time being.

I don't wish to get hurt again.

I'm sorry if i hurt you with my decision.

I need time to heal.

How i wish i could control my mind.

Then i would be able to stop myself from thinking about things that i shouldn't be thinking about.

Drew stickmen suiciding & knocked down by car on my o'levels question papers. =/

Why can't god just treat me better?

I feel numb.

Fuckers just get out of my life please.

Went to do some facial thing with jie & xiin.

Damn pain during some time.

But if that could make the numbness away, i don't mind.

I have to stop thinking about stupid things.

Why don't just take my brain away?

I'm tiredd of living, but it isn't time for me to leave the world.

When will my time comes? I wonder.

with love, hann ❤20:34

Monday, November 3, 2008

水瓶座终极完美分析

几乎每个水瓶座的心底都有着一段刻骨铭心人间记忆，一个永远无法忘记的背影。

那也许只是极其短暂的两情相悦，只是一种单恋，或只是一种只存在于虚幻空间。

一切看起来是那么平静，那么和谐。

没有惊天动地，没有海誓山盟，没有花前月下，没有浪漫，没有誓言，没有温度。

水瓶座的理智和冷漠，注定了任何感情永无燃点。水瓶座不容易喜欢上一个人。

有人说水瓶座对伴侣的要求太高，其实并非这样，水瓶座注重的是感觉。

只是那么轻描淡写的一眼，那个人已经吸引了水瓶的所有注意力，

从此目光便无法转移。用一秒钟爱上一个人，然后再付出一生去忘记，

水瓶座就是这样的试验品。但几乎所有的水瓶都会否认在自己的身上发生一见钟情，

因为一向自视清高，承认爱上一个人这钟事似乎是在侮辱自己的智商。

更多的时候是因为，连自己都没发现已经爱上。

水瓶座很多时候对于感情反应非常迟钝，迟钝到每次都是最后的知情者。

有时容易出现弄不清自己的感觉，不清楚自己想做什么，觉得迷惘。

在对方没有非常明确地表示感情时会退怯，觉得爱情是两厢情愿，不想勉强对方。

显得很被动，忽冷忽热，犹豫不决，极其矛盾。在没有完全确定前，

决不轻易付出感情，因为怕失去。也许是缺乏安全感，也许是对自己的保护，

也可以算作是一种自私。一般水瓶座的好朋友都是经过很长世间的考察的，

不仅仅是几年，而是十几年。一旦被水瓶座当作好朋友的，会赴汤蹈火掏心掏肺。

在公车上，街边，商场，水瓶老是认错人。在茫茫人海中，

始终在寻找一个熟悉的身影，直到产生幻觉。这一刻，水瓶座突然很想痛哭流涕，

因为突然发现自己几近疯狂的爱上一个人，失去了理智，失去了自我。

这种突如其来的感觉，很恐惧，很无助。水瓶座不喜欢这种感觉，

因为不知该如何面对。要让水瓶座主动去追逐，是件异常困难的事，

在水瓶座的世界里无法承受拒绝，就是这么脆弱，无论表面上看来是多么的坚强。

水瓶座在人前总是一幅无忧无虑没心没肝的样子，不想别人看见自己的悲伤，

那样会有不安全的感觉，总是在无人的地方暗自落泪。算了，还是放在心里吧。

既不用尴尬的表白然后遭到拒绝，又不会相爱容易相处难的惨烈分手。

这样很好，没人看出来，不至于太没面子。可以继续貌似潇洒。

但是，不同了。尽管水瓶座装着多么不在乎，看都不看一眼。

可是对方说的每句话都从耳朵进去，没见出来。对方提的任何过分的要求，

水瓶座统统照单全收精心尽力，决对不会有半个不字。

完全成为一个爱情的奴隶，脸上还装酷无表情，整个死要面子活受罪。

这种情况下，如果对方使点阴谋诡计，刻意疏远避而不见或是视而不见，

电话不接或是哼哈敷衍等等，水瓶会给整疯了，开始会想是什么自己地方做错了，

说错话了，然后拉下面子主动讨好试探。不用多，碰壁两次，

水瓶座就会有自知之明了，不会再去想是为什么会这样，也不想知道了。

心里会想，原来是对方讨厌自己，不想见到自己。明白之后，就是绝对的安静了。

这还没完，过了一段日子。对方如果突然又改变态度，

水瓶座竟然能既往不咎问也不问，殷勤依旧，完全没有尊严可谈。

只要能和对方开心的在一起，过去不重要，未来也不重要，面子不重要，

金钱不重要，时间不重要，自己也不重要。天平失衡，感情重重的压在心底，

自己却飘在了半空。太在乎对方，迷失了自我，幸福也变得虚无。

自己都不爱，谁还会珍惜。水瓶座一旦付出，便是彻底，不可收回。

感情投入的越多越是伤的重。最擅长的是难为自己。不想对方难过，

只好让自己难过。总是认为自己有超乎寻常的承受力，把自己想得太坚强，

而把别人想得太脆弱。不知道，受伤的其实是自己，只是不知道如何表现出来。

爱，这个字对水瓶座来说，太沉重珍贵了，无法用语言诠释。

一旦说出口，犹如远古的文物，被发掘出土暴露于空气中，变得面目全非，

失去本来的价值。所以，不轻易说。只需一次，水瓶座便把一生的精力耗尽，

只因执著，便落得伤痕累累。那段感情如强酸腐蚀着那颗麻木的心，穿了一个洞，

再也无法弥补。时间是世界上最有力的矬子，把空洞的毛边渐渐抚平，

不再搁人。每当寒风吹过，犹闻隐约凄凉的萧萧声，似挽歌。

只需一次，水瓶座便不再幻想，于是狠狠将自己摔碎，

拒绝熔化拼凑。因为怕熔了记忆，怕熔了那个远远的背影，

怕熔了自己千年的期盼。之后，水瓶座依然谈笑风生，依然开朗豁达，

继续着一段接一段的新感情，重复着一切，因为无法承受寂寞。

人们都说水瓶花心，见一个爱一个，水瓶座会哈哈一笑，说'哪有？冤啊！'。

其实心里在滴着血，脸上却得笑的灿烂，安慰自己'我是谁啊！哪会那么弱呢！'

有人说水瓶座太冷酷太自私，自以为了不起。可是谁又了解，水瓶座的心，

容量很小，只能有一个，且不具修改性。

除了那个人，其他所有自动归为一种程序。因为无法虚伪，

所以甜言蜜语都吝啬给予。因为天真，所以至死之前仍在等待。

因为没有勇气，所以眼睁睁放手真爱无能为力。

当看到一个瓶子在疯狂地快乐或悲伤时，请千万不要被迷惑，

水瓶总是不由自主地交错操纵着快乐与悲伤。其实并不像看到的那么快乐，

同样的，也不像看到的那么悲伤。只是悲伤时，喜欢带上快乐的面具，

而当水瓶快乐时，悲伤又不肯轻易放过。只有真正懂得水瓶座的人，

才能看见眼底那一缕似有似无的哀伤，才能明白是什么让水瓶如此的义无反顾，

是什么让水瓶变得如此忽冷忽热捉摸不定，才能体会水瓶的坚强只是竭力掩饰的脆弱。

相上说，水瓶座往往不被所爱的人珍惜。

我想，是为什么呢？也许答案就在心中，只是水瓶座的本性不愿承认而已。

水瓶座除了需要一个深爱自己包容一切的人以外，还需要一个心理医生

Funny but quite true. =)

with love, hann ❤20:58